Marcella's Nightmare

New York City's Association for Children's Services (ACS) was in the news again last week after yet another death of an abused child. Last year, severely malnourished four-year-old Marcella Pierce died in her Bedford-Stuyvesant apartment weighing a scant 18 pounds and showing signs of other traumas. Her mother, Carlotta Brett-Pierce, was arrested and charged with murder, manslaughter and assault, but recently prosecutors charged three more people, including two ACS case workers and the girl's own grandmother, with contributing to her death. "Baby Marcella might be alive today had these ACS workers attended to her case with the basic levels of care it deserved, or had her grandmother stepped in and put a stop to the shocking abuse she is charged with facilitating," said Brooklyn DA Charles Hynes.

The indictment charges that the grandmother witnessed the little girl being tied to a bed and her crib many, many times. The indictment also charges that former ACS caseworker Damon Adams failed to make nearly all of the mandated biweekly visits to the Bedford-Stuyvesant home, and falsified ACS records to show he did; Chereece Bell, his former ACS supervisor, is accused of failing to properly oversee and monitor Adams' work with Marcella and her family. Brooklyn DA Charles Hynes said, “I said at the time we announced the indictment of Marcella’s mother that this was not going to be an investigation that was going away. We are going to find out at long last what they’re doing at ACS to make sure there are no more child fatalities."

This story is so tragic on a number of levels. First, there is the girl's family...how could a mother inflict such brutal abuse on her child? How could a grandmother stand by while this happened? And please don't give me that crap about poverty creating an environment where the mother felt helpless and hopeless...that is pure B.S. How does being poor cause people to torture their children? You want to hold up liquor stores, I can see that. You want to give your child up for foster care, okay. But how does beating and starving a child help your poverty? Anybody who does this has to be seriously evil. I am as far from being a perfect person as anyone, so I have been trying harder not to judge people. I keep looking for mitigating circumstances that might justify such horrifying behavior, but I just can't imagine any.

Another criminal failure is the behavior of the heartless, uncaring ACS workers into whose hands poor Marcella's fate was placed. They must have understood that if this child was in the ACS system, there was a reason. Something about her family, environment or history caused a flag to be raised that warned: look in on this child from time to time. She is at risk for harm to befall her. How could they falsify reports saying they had performed this vital duty when they did not? Don't they have the brains to comprehend that every week that passes without them checking up on this child puts her one step closer to danger? Their caseload was not heavy; they were just too god damned lazy to do their jobs. I'm glad the D.A. is prosecuting, but some slick lawyer will probably get them off with a slap on the wrist.

Finally, the system itself failed Marcella and other children like her. ACS hires people totally unqualified for this kind of work. I'm sure there are good, hardworking case workers, and my thanks goes out to them for doing a very difficult job, but clearly not all can be trusted with the welfare, indeed, the very lives of at-risk children. There needs to be supervision, especially of new workers, until they prove they are competent and caring in working to protect the children placed in their care. Management must diligently make follow-up visits to ensure shortcuts are not being taken. New York City seems more interested in chasing traffic scofflaws than in monitoring the welfare of kids in the ACS system. This is a disgrace and it has to stop.

There are far too many stories in the news of children who are horribly abused by the very people who should be nurturing and protecting them. I hope there is a special place in hell for the monsters who engage in such unspeakable evil. In the meanwhile, if they need someone here on earth to pull the switch that fries these bastards, I hereby volunteer my services.

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The World Turns Upside Down

Life is so unpredictable. One day everything is going along as usual, and then suddenly, madness. The earthquake and tsunami in Japan is that kind of surreal event for the Japanese people. Earthquakes are not uncommon in Japan, but nothing like the magnitude 9.0 quake that hit on March 11, 2011 has been seen since September 1, 1923 when a magnitude 8.3 quake killed between 100,000 and 140,000 people. In the recent March 11 earthquake, the death toll (as yet unknown) and property damage from the earthquake were exacerbated by a horrific tsunami that swept away all in its path. Entire villages were wiped out and the fate of their inhabitants unknown. Contemplating all of this, with the added threats of the possibility of another significant quake in the next 48 hours, and the possibility of a nuclear plant meltdown, just numbs the mind.

Years ago these events were less personal. Sure they were reported in the newspapers for a few days, but with today's on site media coverage, the circumstances become frighteningly real. The terrifying footage from Japan comes into our living rooms and we find ourselves face to face with the people victimized by this tragedy. A young child who was happy and playing in his crib on March 10 is now being scanned for radiation poisoning by a space-suited technician, while his concerned mother looks on. Overworked doctors and nurses struggle to cope with hospitals overflowing with victims, wondering how much worse it will get if one of Japan's nuclear power plants lets go. Even TV reporters sent to cover this story are torn between doing their jobs and exposing themselves to unspeakable risks while their own families at home pray for their safe return.

Japan has experienced maybe 25 significant earthquakes in the past 100 years. Their government enforces strict standards for building construction, and businesses do all they can to protect computer data bases and equipment. The Japan Meteorological Agency developed an Early Earthquake Warning system that automatically calculates the focus and magnitude of the earthquake and estimates the seismic intensity for each location by detecting the preliminary tremors near its focus. Japanese citizens are thoroughly schooled about what to do when one of these early warnings is broadcast. Even with advanced technology however, the best the populace can hope for is up to 30 seconds advance warning, not enough to do much but get themselves to the sturdiest possible shelter and pray.

There are reports of Japanese citizens staging a mass exodus from the country and getting on a plane to anywhere to escape the consequences of a nuclear melt down. Their personal safety is the immediate concern and the future is something they can try to arrange when they are out of harm's way. I can't imagine what they must be feeling. I try to put myself in their shoes but the scenario just does not compute. I suppose that those lucky enough to be alive consider leaving all they know behind and relocating their families to be an option they are fortunate to have. I'm sure one of the questions that will be debated when the smoke clears is why did the Japanese build so many nuclear plants when the frequency of earthquakes in their country is so great? The short answer is that they have no coal or fossil fuels, and if they want to compete in an industrialized world, nuclear was risky, but the only realistic choice.

The Japanese are a resilient race as witnessed by their recovery from World War II and the devastation of the atomic bomb. Not only did they recover, but with help from the United States, developed into a modern, technologically superior world power. They have created glittering cities, giant corporations , and a healthy standard of living for their people, all the while respecting the ways and traditions of the past. I found myself callously thinking this morning what effect this earthquake would have on the stock market and my financial future until I remembered the dazed looks on the faces of people wandering the ruins looking for loved ones. This tragedy touched us all, and we can only hope that Japan will rise from such a devastating blow to become great once again.

What I'm left with in thinking how quickly things can change in the world is a determination to appreciate what I have in life...to hold my loved ones closer, to let the little things go, and to be less quick to judge. Life is too unpredictable to do otherwise.

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Next Stop, Charleston

After three nice days in Savannah, we rented a car and headed North about two hours drive to another low-country jewel of the South, Charleston, South Carolina. The rental rate from Hertz for less than 4 hours use of their vehicle was obscene, but we didn’t have much choice. The ride was a pleasant one as the road meandered from Route 17 onto Interstate 95 and back to 17. Coming from New York, where everything is vertical, we were surprised at how flat the landscape looked. We were told to watch for speed traps, so our pace was leisurely. We also saw road signs that reminded us that we were a long way from Staten Island. Lots of stores selling guns and ammo, and I must have seen twenty signs advertising taxidermy services. As we entered the Charleston city limits, we saw fewer house trailers and more big bucks mansions.

After checking into our hotel in the Charleston Historic District, we walked across the street to the conveniently located Visitor’s Center to get some tips on what we should see in the city during our stay. We were lucky to just catch a departing, 90-minute mini-bus tour of the area narrated by a guide who was very well-informed of Charleston’s history. His great grandfather had fought and died for the Confederacy, and we heard all we needed to know and more…I thought the guy was going to follow us back to our room. He did provide some useful recommendations on local restaurants which we put to good use. The first place we tried was Virginia’s, just a couple of blocks from where we were staying. Our waitress, Stella, was friendly and told us that the tour guide had steered us right. After devouring the She Crab Soup followed by the Shrimp with Grits, I felt like a good old boy gone to heaven.

Next day we set out for a walk along Meeting Street, which went in a straight line down to the Charleston waterfront. We passed stately mansions, churches, restaurants, museums, and a long row of stalls that comprise City Market, an assortment of wares sold by hundreds of vendors. Sweet grass basket weavers can be seen in every building, along with, local artists, jewelry, spices, sauces, and local candies. Stately horse and carriages gallop by with people from all over the world, and restaurants line both North and South Market Streets. The atmosphere is festive and distinctly Southern. After picking up some souvenirs, we visited the Gibbes Art Museum for some local culture. The following day we hit the Charleston Museum and were pleasantly surprised by the extent and depth of their collections. One exhibit had period costumes from the Civil War era and people were encouraged to get dressed up and take pictures.

Like Savannah, many of Charleston’s historic homes were saved from the wrecking ball by the local preservation society. We toured several of these magnificent mansions and can’t imagine that anyone would ever have condoned their destruction. One house in particular, the John C. Calhoun Mansion, was spectacular. After falling into disrepair and sinking so low as to be used as barracks for naval personnel, the house was bought by a Washington, D.C. lawyer who spent millions restoring it. In addition he puts his considerable collection of antiques on display in every room of the home. Interestingly, unlike most homes open to tours by the public, the Calhoun Mansion is actually lived in by its owner and his family. The rooms and the surrounding gardens were a pleasure to see, and a reminder of the grandeur of a different time when generations of families lived in splendor in the old ancestral manor.

Travel helps us understand the diversity of this great country into which we had the privilege of being born. People are so different down south and out west and up north, and yet they are all part of the fabric of America. I have been critical of people who immigrate to the United States only for a paycheck and the government-funded freebies. They have no love for this country except for what it can give them. They long for the day when they can leave our shores and return to wherever they came from; I say good riddance and don't let the door hit you in the ass. My ancestors came to America for a better life, and they worked hard to achieve it. I am proud to be an American and proud of this country and all it represents. I hope to see a lot more of it before the good Lord cashes me in.

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Georgia on My Mind

If being the birthplace of Johnny Mercer is the only thing Savannah, Georgia ever did for the world, it would be enough, but there is much more to this antebellum, soft-spoken Southern city. We traveled there last week for the first time and were completely charmed. Savannah is famous for many things including battles in the Revolutionary War, Sherman's March to the Sea during the Civil War, birthplace of The Girl Scouts, and of course the movie "Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil" was set here using Johnny Mercer's ancestral home as a backdrop. We stayed in Savannah's Historic District where landscaped town squares, period homes, walled gardens, museums, picturesque waterfront, art galleries, theaters, churches, and great Southern restaurants offer the visitor a rich cultural experience.

A lot of this beauty may not have survived if not for the good ladies of the Georgia Historical Society headquartered in Savannah. Chartered by the Georgia General Assembly in 1839, the Georgia Historical Society is the state’s oldest cultural organization and first and only statewide historical society. They have been instrumental in preserving the cultural and architectural legacy of Savannah and other Georgia cities. When the demolition crews planned to tear down some of the state's most treasured residential and commercial structures, the Society fought for and won the right to see them preserved. We owe them a great debt of gratitude for their determination and foresight.

Shortly after our arrival we started walking; you won't find a nicer city to see on foot. We passed The Lady and Sons, Paula Deen's restaurant in Savannah, and were lucky enough to get a reservation for the same night. Dinner was good, but the crowds that storm the place force them to keep their menu somewhat limited. We also had good Southern dinners at Churchill's Pub and The Chart House on the Savannah River. They have a trolley-style bus that tours the Historic District, and you can hop on and off for one price. We used it some, but did most of our sightseeing on foot. We made interesting stops at the Julia Lowe House, the woman who founded the Girl Scouts, the Owens-Thomas House where the walled gardens are colorful and serene, and the Ships of the Sea Maritime Museum on manicured grounds with amazingly realistic ship's models including the Titanic.

A pleasant surprise was ours when we looked for a church to attend Sunday Mass and found the incredibly beautiful St. John the Baptist Cathedral just a short walk from our hotel. The interior of this magnificent church looks like something straight out of Florence, Italy. Vaulted ceilings, marbled columns, stately altar, sculpted Stations of the Cross, and murals everywhere make this a stop worth seeing. Coming off a multi-million dollar renovation, the Cathedral is awe inspiring. Mass was a tad long for my taste, but the congregation was dressed so nicely, it reminded me of high mass in my old neighborhood parish. We left feeling spiritually uplifted, and walked into the bright sunshine of an 80 degree Savannah Sunday, a treat in itself after this year's brutal winter up North.

Another fun stop was Leopold’s Ice Cream, founded in 1919 by three immigrant brothers from Greece: George, Peter, and Basil Leopold. Generations of Savannahians have loved Leopold’s ice cream. During the early years, food service was added and Savannah began enjoying tasty treats such as hamburgers, baby clubs, and pimento cheese sandwiches. Johnny Mercer grew up a block away from Leopold’s and was a faithful customer when he was home from Hollywood. He even told Peter he would write a song about Leopold’s famous “Tutti-Frutti” ice cream, which had become a Leopold’s hallmark and Savannah’s favorite. The fountain and interior looked a lot like the ice cream parlors we frequented growing up in Brooklyn. Needless to say, we dropped in to sample the legendary ice cream and it didn't disappoint.

Savannah is a place you go to decompress. The flowers, palm trees and brightly colored houses are just so calming to Type A Northerners. It's definitely a city worth visiting. Here's a little Johnny Mercer to put you in the mood. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPyK13OCxR0

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Have a Nice Trip Y'all

Back from vacation in Savannah-Charleston. It was a great trip and I'll be writing more about those lovely cities in future posts. Today's blog is about flying...something we do only reluctantly. We flew Continental to Savannah, and as we boarded the plane at Newark, I noticed that some people had on their "flying" clothes. Now I can see being comfortable, after all it is a cramped space, but the outfits some folks wear on airplanes are truly horrifying. Pajama bottoms and sweats that look like they Simonized their cars with them are a big favorite. Also, t-shirts with "funny" sayings are popular, such as Look Everyone Makes Mistakes, Take Your Parents For Example. Finally, there are the hats that just scream: look at me, I'm an asshole.

So we board with these pinheads after going through the endless security checks. We taxi out to the runway only to hear the intercom crackle and the laconic pilot's voice (they all sound the same) come on with the following announcement: Folks, we're waiting a while to take off...some of the pilots have been reporting wind shear problems. Really? Two words you don't want to hear sitting on the runway are "wind shear". On the list of airplane emergencies, wind shear ranks second, with only exploding fireball ahead of it. Then we hear: We should be taking off shortly. In airline speak that means sometime in the next 90 minutes. Once airborne, we now hear the phrase "a little turbulence"... translation...two minutes of wide-eyed, clenched-jawed terror.

During the flight the perky flight attendant (they used to be called stewardesses when they were attractive and polite) says we may move about the cabin. No can do. I'm wedged in the window seat and my lovely wife is giving me that you better not have to go to the bathroom look. I sip my little glass of juice (forget meals now days) fully aware that the liquid will soon be wanting to exit my body at the worst possible moment when the beverage cart is between me and the minuscule bathroom. I've heard of the mile high club, but I'm sure it's a myth. I can barely stay on my feet long enough to take a whiz much less muster up any acrobatic romantic maneuvers.

We land in Savannah and head for the baggage carousel. They make this sound like a fun amusement park ride, but it's hell on earth as 100 pieces of luggage that look exactly like mine come rolling down the line. Burly men knock down little old ladies when they see a bag they think is theirs. At least they check their bags, unlike the circus freaks that bring carry-on luggage the size of steamer trunks onto the plane and then stand there pounding it into the cramped overhead compartments. Oh, and while they do this, their nasty body parts are in your face since you are already seated. I'm going to bring a long hat pin on my next flight to shish kabob one of these thoughtless morons.

We drove down to Charleston from Savannah in a rental car that cost me $130 for four hours use. The flight home from Charleston was an interesting one. It was a beautiful day, so thankfully wind shear wasn't going to be a problem. As we taxied out for takeoff, Captain Laidback comes on the intercom and announces we are heading back to the terminal, no reason given. We arrive at the gate and two large, heavily armed Air Marshall's practically lift this guy out of his seat and forcibly take him off the airplane. He had been arguing with the flight attendant about moving his carry-on luggage to a safer place, and also gave the staff in the terminal some attitude prior to boarding. Some passengers heard him muttering threats and complained to the flight attendant. I hope they slapped his mouthy ass in jail.

More trip details to follow.

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Random Thoughts

Is there a bigger schmuck on the planet than Adam Sandler? How does this guy do it? Makes one bad movie after another and people keep on paying to see him. Apparently, his signature comedic move is getting hit in the family jewels and then making really grimacy faces. He actually had the cohones to star in a remake of Frank Capra's "Mr. Deeds Goes to Town", originally starring Gary Cooper. That's like Tommy Sands filling in for Frank Sinatra.

Big flap in NYC over whether people who shovel out a parking space in the snow are entitled to save it by placing their garbage pails in the spot when they are not in it. Letters to the Editor of the Daily News are around 70% No, 30% Yes. Nobody owns the streets and it would be hard to justify saving a spot you had shoveled. On the other hand I'd be hard pressed to pull into a space I knew my neighbor had cleared.

Petty dictators like Hosni Mubarek should be on notice that sooner or later they will be toppled. Egypt's population in young and impatient with the old ways. They want freedom and jobs and futures for their families. Maybe other countries under the rule of despots will take heart and find the courage to do what must be done. It will unsettle this region to be sure, but it might help loosen the grip that fundamentalist Islamic clerics have on this part of the world.

There was an item in today's Staten Island Advance about Ray Larsen, a local man who was tragically killed while celebrating the New York Jets last win. After the game he went outside for a sleigh ride on the hill in front of his house. He traveled down the hill into the street into the path of a passing SUV. At a recent memorial family dinner at the Marina Cafe here in the neighborhood, the family was surprised and touched when the restaurant owner picked up the check for the 60-70 family members gathered there. "Ray was a regular here, a kind and good-hearted man" said the restaurant manager. It does my cynical heart good to read stories like this. There are still many good people in the world.

HBO ran a special on the great Sid Caesar, one of the most original and creative comedians of all time. Sid was smart enough to hire writers like Mel Brooks, Woody Allen, Larry Gelbart and Neil Simon to provide quality scripts for "Your Show of Shows" week after grueling week doing the show live...no do-overs. Its hard to believe that Sid was knocked off the air by Lawrence Welk. As middle America got television sets, they just didn't get Sid's humor, but soaked up Welk and his Champagne Music Makers. What a loss.

Every year the Super Bowl hype grows. Over 100 million watched this year's event and saw a good game between two old NFL rivals. The super audience has created a buzz for TV commercial makers. There are people who watch just for the ads, some of which have been great in past years. This year's event was disappointing, from Christina Aguilara's "Star Mangled Banner" to a crop of disappointing commercials. The mini-Darth Vader was cute but it was clearly the best of a bad lot. C'mon Mad Men, you can do better.

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Is Bigger Better?

A small hardware chain (Ace or True Value, I don't remember) aired a great radio commercial a few years ago poking fun at the big box super stores. In the commercial the poor customer, who was trying to find his way around one of these big Home Depot type places, desperately asked the indifferent store clerk where he could find a hammer. "Aisle 166" answers the clerk, "the next bus leaves in ten minutes from Housewares." That may not be the exact dialogue, but you get the idea. I can't help wonder just how big these stores can get. Is there a point of diminishing returns where size actually becomes a disadvantage? If there is, we must be close to reaching it.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the great selection of products and low prices in places like Home Depot, Lowes, Walmart, Stop & Shop and Ikea, but there are times when I wish they did run buses in the aisles because the item I need is always a ten minute walk away. The other issue is that sometimes you can have too many choices. I've done a lot of painting around the house and even I am constantly amazed at the specialized painting products they offer. I think they have a brush just for edging around aluminum bathroom windows! My father's entire tool and home maintenance kit fit into a large Maxwell House coffee can.

Then there is the variation in the caliber of staff in these places. When Home Depot started out, one of their selling points was that employees in each department were experts in the products sold there. And that was true in the beginning...you could be confident that that kindly looking gentleman in the orange apron could tell you anything you needed to know about tile grout. Not so any more. When you open so many stores there are just so many experts to go around. The suburban stores are pretty good, but the inner-city stores (where these chains are learning there is money to be made) draw on local kids when they hire. Now this is great for the local economy, but when you ask them a question, their eyes glaze over and they immediately start the search for somebody who knows the answer.

I think of all the mega stores, Ikea is my favorite. First of all, they don't saturate neighborhoods with stores on every other corner, so the quality of their help is usually good, inner-city stores notwithstanding. Their products are attractive, durable, and most important, especially for young couples just starting out, affordable. They cleverly display their goods in a room setting so that you can see how that sofa would look in a real home with all the finishing touches. Of course you're so impressed by what their decorators have done that you are tempted to buy the whole room, and many customers do just that. Smart people, the Swedes.

I also like their on-site cafeteria where you can get a good basic bacon and eggs breakfast for 99 cents, coffee extra. They also serve lunch and dinner for the convenience of shoppers. I had a little tiff with the Ikea store in Elizabeth, N.J. recently over having to wait in line for an hour to pick up some replacement parts only to find out they weren't in stock. I wrote a letter of course, (its what I do) and the store manager sent me an apology along with an invitation to enjoy a free dinner for two any time. Although I haven't told my wife yet, I think I'll cash in that offer for a romantic Valentine's Day dinner.

Bottom line, things go in cycles. When the big box stores over saturate the market, small store owners will look for ways to fill a niche and draw off some disgruntled customers. (Is the opposite a "gruntled" customer? Nothing to do with this blog, but words interest me.) For example a new chain called Save-a Lot offers greatly reduced prices on store brands...up to 40% over supermarket prices for comparable items. Their stores are typically 20,000 sq. ft. compared to 46,000 for the average supermarket. Fewer brands, less shelf space translates into grocery bill savings and people are responding. That's called Capitalism folks, and you know what, it works!

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The Beat Goes On

Time for another therapeutic rant...it's cold outside and I'm hot inside. Here are a couple of things I need to get off my chest:

They released a list of all fifty states showing each state's debt per capita...not the personal debts of the state's people but the amount of state debt owed per resident. Free-spending Connecticut was highest at $4900 per capita while thrifty North Dakota came in at an astounding $15 per capita. Now you can argue that there's not much to spend money on in North Dakota, but that's only part of the equation. States like Connecticut, New Jersey, Massachusetts and New York have simply lost track of the value of money and where it comes from. They whine about budget cuts forgetting that so much of their current bloated budgets are loaded with unjustifiable giveaway programs that have proliferated unchallenged for years. Maybe we should bring in the politicians from North Dakota and give them a crack at running these fiscally irresponsible Northeast state governments. I think the fat would fly.

There was an item in today's news about a Valley Stream man named Martin Heidgen, 29, who was the first drunken driver ever convicted of murder in Nassau County. His lawyer argued his client should have been charged with manslaughter, not murder, in the deaths of 7-year-old Katie Flynn and limo driver Stanley Rabinowitz after colliding with their limo. The basis for the appeal: his client was too drunk to commit murder and should be charged with the lesser crime of manslaughter. It could take the court months to come to a decision on the appeal. Heidgen is serving a sentence of 18 years to life in prison. Maybe they should release him early from jail just to give family members of the victims whose lives he took a chance to run him over.

Meanwhile, back in the courtroom, a foul-mouthed Brooklyn defendant, after being found guilty of murder during a botched robbery, promptly shot himself in the foot during his sentencing hearing. Zaire Page, 24, was hit with 107 years to life for killing Lethania Garcia and wounding four others in a brazen October 2008 Fort Greene shootout. Before getting the maximum possible sentence, Paige tried to get one last dig in at the judge, Vincent Del Giudice, telling him, "With all due respect and from the bottom of my heart, suck my d---." There's a sensible young man. I'll bet his appeal hearing will go well.

This one makes my blood run cold. Shannon Johnson, age 34, of Fort Lupton, Colorado was arraigned January 14 for her son’s death on September 20. He drowned in the tub while she was playing Cafe World on Facebook. She’s being held on a $100,000 bail for a felony charge of child abuse and knowingly or recklessly causing death. Unfortunately, it's not the first time we’ve seen a violent death related to Facebook addicts. One of the most trafficked posts of all time on Facebook: Alexandra V. Tobias, a 22-year-old from Jacksonville, Florida killed her baby for crying during a Farmville Game. I feel for these lost children, and even for their mothers when it dawns on them what they have done. People’s addiction to Facebook can have some very disturbing consequences.

Not a day goes by that a story like the ones above pops up in my morning newspaper and gets my pulse racing. I know there will always be evil, brutality, ignorance and incompetence in the world, I just wish there was less of it.

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Man Up America

There's a creature called Jabba the Hut in George Lucas' Star Wars trilogy. Jabba ia essentially a huge blob who sits around his palace waiting for his minions to bring him food, entertainment and whatever else blobs need to get by. Sometimes I think modern man is on the road to Jabba-hood. If you look around, it's no secret that as a people we are definitely tubbier than our forefathers. We eat too much, exercise too little, and generally live life vicariously in front of our 54-inch plasma TVs. Our sense of adventure has been dulled by too much technology and convenience. We're spoiled to the point where we rely on government instead of ourselves. Contrast this vision of a fat, complacent America with the remarkable lives of those who preceded us in the greatest country in the world.

It started with the American Revolution against a monarchy that abused its colonies and bled them dry. Had George Washington not achieved the impossible by beating the world-class British army with a ragtag but passionate band of patriots, we'd all be having afternoon tea about now. If those brave colonials had the attitude that prevails in the average American today, many of them would have called in sick on the day George was planning to cross the Delaware. The common man in the 1700's was pretty uncommon.

The same holds true for the 1800's. Throughout the Civil war War both sides exhibited extraordinary courage . If there were bookies around back then, any bettor foolish enough to back the South would have received pretty thin odds. But those Southern aristocrats and farm boys alike, led by Generals like Lee, Jackson, Longstreet and Jeb Stuart came within a hair of winning it all. It wasn't just toughness that set them apart but their intellect. If you saw Ken Burns' PBS series on the Civil war some years ago, and heard the letters written home by 'common' soldiers with less than a grade school education, their eloquence was astonishing. By way of comparison, ever eavesdrop on a conversation when a local high school is letting out? I rest my case.

What about standing up to Germany in World Wars I and II the way Americans of their day did? Men lied about their age or disabilities so they could get into the fight before it was over. The women left behind pitched in by holding down critical defense manufacturing jobs while holding the family together, waiting (and praying) for Daddy to come home. Nobody firebombed their draftboard or hopped the first plane to Canada, they did what their country asked of them. This in no way diminishes the brave men and women who answer their country's call today; my beef is with those who enjoy the liberties this country offers, hard won on battlefields around the world, but who are content to let others do the fighting.

Would the West ever have been won by modern-day Americans. Doubt it. America's western border would probably be Pennsylvania if it was up to us. We whine when the heated seats in our SUvs take too long to warm up. We winge about having to wait in line at airport security, but call for the heads of whoever was in charge when some terrorist lunatic breaches the defenses. When we screw something up there's a rush to find somebody else to blame it on. MAN UP AMERICA and try to be worthy successors to those who paid the ultimate price so we could sit in Starbucks and sip out Mocca Lattes in peace.

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MENSA Meeting Cancelled

My daughter recently gave me a book with clippings from her local Portland, CT paper, along with her funny comments on each story. We share an appreciation for the ridiculous things people do in life, proving once and for all that one commodity that we will always have in abundance is stupidity. I wonder what goes through people's heads just before they throw their hats into the ring for the annual Darwin Awards. Is there a thought process that can actually lead them to conclude that what they are about to do is a good idea? Do they lack that second sense that alerts most of us to the fact that skating past that "Thin Ice" sign is a poor decision? Here are a few of my favorites.

A 19-year old music student borrowed the cello of another student and then lost it. There are several actions the young man could have taken at this point to resolve the problem, but the one he chose was to stab the other student to death! Excuse me, did I miss connecting a dot somewhere. How in the wide world of sports do you go from losing someone's musical instrument to killing her? Fortunately the killing never took place. The the would-be killer fled the victim's home and deliberately tried to crash his car and kill himself. The local East Hampton Police Chief, clearly a master of understatement said: "This appears to be a unique situation." Well just in case it isn't Chief, maybe you should assign a crime code number to describe it. "Dispatch to car 54: we have a 219 in progress on Main Street (citizen threatened at knife point over missing cello). Please respond."

How about the guy who broke into a local home and was in the middle of looting it when the home owner walked in. Most of us, if placed in the situation this burglar found himself in, would mutter something like "Oh s**t, and run past the homeowner to our waiting car. This Einstein calmly walks out of the house carrying some stolen coins and continues strolling along on Middle Haddam Road until police arrive and pick him up. The burglar explained that he thought he was in a friend's house (that sounds plausible). So if I understand this, it's your friend you meant to burglarize! Police explained that there had been a string of burglaries in the area lately, and it was just the heroin addicts. Phew, I was worried there for a minute.

The Connecticut Lyme Riders, Inc. decided to host an 80-mile motorcycle ride through southeastern Connecticut as a way to raise funds for Lyme disease. Each participant and passenger was charged a fee to participate. So far, so good. Problem is the route of the ride included rest stops at The Pour House, The Lyme Tavern, Family Corner Restaurant and Ernie's place, all bars. Somehow I can't imagine a gang of bikers and their bitches sidling up to Ernie's Bar and saying: "Just club soda for us Ernie, we got a charity ride to finish." I love that these rugged souls took the time to schedule an event to raise money for a good cause. Just a suggestion here: maybe next year they should make Mothers Against Drunk Drivers the beneficiary of their efforts.

It's hard to find any definitive research on American IQ trends over the past 100 years. One study I saw on average IQ ranked the United States at number 19 in the world, behind such countries as China, Japan, South Korea, and most industrialized European countries. Just from what I see around me, I'll go out on a limb and say we're getting dumber as a country. My totally non-scientific research consists of reading stories in newspapers about the incredibly stupid things people do. I'm not talking about book learning here; our clueless educators have a solution to that problem...they just keep lowering the standards and patting themselves on the back. I'm talking about our population becoming so stupid that iron manufacturers have to put warning labels on their product cautioning users against ironing clothes while they are wearing them!

SEE DATES ABOVE RIGHT FOR OTHER POSTS FROM "BRAINDROPS". ALSO, READ MY OTHER BLOG:SPALDEEN DREAMS

LOOKING FOR A WORTHY CHARITY? TRY THESE FOLKS: Children's Craniofacial Association