Thursday, December 8, 2011

The Week in Review

That party animal Albert Einstein once said: "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." Al got it so right; stupid knows no boundaries. The proof from this week's news alone:

Celebrity a-hole and politician-wanna-be Alec Baldwin got his dumb ass thrown off an American Airlines jet this week for refusing to fasten his seat belt when directed to do so, refusing to turn off his i-Phone, locking himself in a bathroom on the plane so he could continue to use it, and abusing flight attendants. If there was ever a poster boy for celebrity stupidity, Alec is it. Shortly after tweeting his indignation, it was announced that he shut down his Twitter account. I guess he heard from a lot of people who reminded him of what we all already know: he's a world class jerk.

Newt Gingrich and other desperate politicians are making the pilgrimage to New York to kiss the ring of "kingmaker" Donald Trump. How f***ed up has our political process become that the Combover Kid is now the one people look to for guidance on who we should elect as President! This guy continues to come up smelling like a rose despite flirting with bankruptcy after using other people's money to create his house-of-cards empire. He was at his smarmy worst when presiding over that putrid reality show The Apprentice. Sitting there with his lemon meringue hair, he would sneer: "You're fired." It was moments like that I understood Elvis shooting out the TV screen when Robert Goulet came on.

What's with the Transportation Safety Administration? I totally understand and applaud their mission of making flying safer for passengers, and I'm fully prepared to put up with whatever measures they believe to be reasonable in support of this goal. What I don't understand is their lack of judgment in strip-searching and humiliating women in their eighties with obvious health problems. Now I am the first to admit that I look like a terrorist. My Italian features could easily be mistaken for Arabic, and every time I board a plane, I am prepared to be patted down. But come on guys, let's use a little discretion and spare these poor ladies, who are probably already nervous and confused at the prospect of flying, the indignity to which you have been subjecting them.

New York police report that even more than cash, fancy electronic gadgets are now the preferred target of thieves. They repeatedly advise the public to keep these items out of sight to avoid being victimized. So what do the crackberry heads do: they sit there mesmerized by their blinking toys in complete disregard of the warnings. I'll admit that I feel a grim pleasure every time I read about one of these idiots getting ripped off. They are allegedly intelligent people who just choose to ignore any common-sense rule that might inconvenience them. Too bad you can't download an "ap" to fix stupid.

Let me conclude with a word about those media goddesses, the Kardashians. Not a day goes by that we don't have their tawdry little lives shoved down our throats. Kim's sham marriage to Chris Humphries, Khloe's resentment of Chris for driving a wedge between Kim and her sisters...please raise your hand if you give a rat's ass. Yet these mega-hos dominate the entertainment pages and have built up a multi-million dollar empire despite having no talent except self-promotion. There is only one solution: round up the most rabid Kardashian fans and lobotomize them.

That's all for now. This is your angry reporter signing off.


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Joseph Del Broccolo said...

FIRST OFF, I THOUGHT THE KARDASHIANS WERE ONE AND THE SAME! Secondly, you don't look like a terrorist, you look like a pizza maker, that is your Italian looks. I think there should should be an app for these stupid electronic idiots that makes them disappear.

An angry and cranky reader.

The Whiner said...

A round of loud, thundrous applause for this Blog. Honestly, who refuses to buckle their seatbelt or turn off their phone? So glad they threw his dumb ass off the plane. As for the grace the Kardashians they are the most reprehensible bunch of morons ever to fall upon the earth.