Just Say No

Too many young people grow up today without hearing enough of the word "No."

Bup, bup, bup, don't even think of arguing the point; you know I'm right. We have only to look at their behavior from the time they are toddlers. Screaming fits when they don't get their way; talking back to their parents and all authority figures in the most petulant way; an inability to play with other children without fighting...all the signs are there if only we honestly look. How did they get that way? Gutless parents who are afraid to say NO!

The reason for this is that parents who raise the "spawn from hell" don't want to be seen as the bad guys. They want their kids to think of them as "cool" and fun to be around. The idea of setting behavioral boundaries is anathema to them. Why they might stifle little Connor's creativity, or be forced to endure that frowny face on precious Madison. (Sidebar here: I notice that kids with names like Madison and Connor tend to more obnoxious than kids named Jane or Robert.) Well too freakin' bad, kids need boundaries, no, kids beg for boundaries so they will know where the out-of-bounds markers are set.

This reluctance to carry out the less enjoyable duties of parenthood is directly responsible for the crop of brats running around being general pains in the ass. Take school for example. Children, especially girls, in places like Pakistan and Iran, can only pray their fathers don't find out they are getting secretly educated in cellars by teachers willing to risk their lives in defiance of the Muslim ban against schooling of girls. In our schools, kids act out, defy teachers, disobey the most reasonable rules, and show zero appreciation for the opportunity they are being given. They know a teacher can't even speak harshly to them without being accused of corporal punishment, and boy do they take advantage. Kids mouth-off or even strike teachers knowing Mommy and Daddy will defend them to the death, evidence of their misconduct notwithstanding.

A friend who works in a school tells me stories that make me cringe. Recently a first grader was berating his parents in the presence of his teacher, with no response from the parents. Now I can tell you that my own parents were not at all free with their hands, but if the occasion warranted, out came the wooden spoon. I can't imagine ever speaking to my parents in the way this kid spoke to his, especially in front of the teacher! I can assure you that if I had, I would have been taking my meals through a straw for a while.

It's not just school and teachers that get worked over by these brats. We hear about too many fatal auto accidents involving young people behind the wheel of $50,000 cars. How does a 17-year old afford to speed around in a Mercedes? (Daddy couldn't say no.) We read about kids having wild drinking parties at home. Their parents don't just look the other way, they host the damn parties. "Hey look Chelsea, see how cool we are?" (Mommy couldn't say no.) Teens get into trouble with the law; the parents response: "The cops must have planted that stuff on poor Trevor."

Now what do you think happens when Trevor and Chelsea grow up? Their clueless parents have been running interference for these little a-holes all their lives, and now society must try to impose the boundaries that their folks were too cowardly to establish. Who said we have to get to work on time? Why can't I wear jeans to work? What do you mean you won't go to bed with me? Well Tiffany has a Porsche, how come I don't? Sometimes this belated boundary-setting process has dire consequences, e.g., Robert Chambers, the so-called preppie murderer, who ended the life of Jennifer Levin because she resisted his advances. She said "no" and died for it.

Now I can hear you saying: "What makes this jerk an expert?" Well let me answer: I'm not. True, my wife and I have raised three children, and admittedly most of the good parenting ideas were hers, but I can tell you we were always in agreement on letting the kids know when they had stepped across the line. We were not child abusers, but in rare instances, if the behavior was dangerous (like running out into the street) or otherwise "over the top", we were not above whacking them on their behinds. We played the bad guys so that society didn't have to. Does that make us terrible people? If so, then it's a judgement I'll accept knowing how considerate and well-mannered my children turned out.

Here's a gift for those who want to be their kids' friends instead of their parents . Please, for all our sakes, use liberally.

No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No


And in case Burgundy or Caleb is having a really bad week, here, knock yourself out.

No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No

SEE DATES ABOVE RIGHT FOR OTHER POSTS FROM "BRAINDROPS".

LOOKING FOR A WORTHY CHARITY? TRY THESE FOLKS: Children's Craniofacial Association